a new light

Hello Bloggie! 

feeling nice to see and write here again, 

the last time I wrote was couple years ago,

at 2019 been blank in here, because I was prefer to wrote at Microsoft Word and did my Thesis for my bachelor degree hehe. On August 27th, 2019 I was graduated and the next two months I got a job in the private Syariah bank at Jakarta.

at 2020 here I am today, happy that I can tell how hard and easy in this year. A bit hard, yet still be blessed and grateful. I have a family who support me the most, mama, adek, abi, aunty, cousins and also some of my friends.

this year is a lost year for me but the weird things that I didn't feeling sad, just broke up with my ex because we haven't had the same vision and mission. Then we're choose to ends our relationship. And I feeling relived after this situation.

then a new light man comes to my life,
something that he can makes my life brighter than before,
something that he can brings me out from my comfort zone and gain new adventures,
something that a new figure that I can learn with,
something that can't compare with anyone else,
something that a new hopes come.

Feeling grateful and blessed to meet him,
something that I could't ask for more,
thank you for your new light.. :)

<3<3<3

The two pure gold-hearted souls

And he was left, left a pure gold-hearted girl.
just for a lust,
just for a moment,
not for forever.

"oh, poor that boy--
 and don't come back"
"so lucky that girl--
 because she's make her life worth"

do you know dear..?
life is unfair,
but...
the universe is fair,
It makes two pieces of soul,
which is the same soul to be one..
(the kind with the kind--
 the bad with the bad.)

the universe is the true fair
why?
because it makes all of the things happen--
in this world..

that is;

the two pure gold-hearted of souls
is in the us,
you and I
to be one.



forever and always...










South Tangerang
11.39 PM
-celikuki-

End of the Year

Just keep on the path Celiiii!

Dear 2017,

I don't know what I feel right now, but I'm typing with a lil crying. (lebay) #celilagicheessymelow

first of all I want to say thanks to Allah because of Him, 

I have a chance until right now to live a life.

the second, thank you so muuuch to my family who support me the most.

and the third i wanna say thank you so much also to my best friend and all my friend

who coloring my life in 2017.

If i'm talk about 2017, 

there are so many memories up and down situations that i've learned about.

its very much i wanna tell but it will be a long long long stories..(lebay lagi)

ya..

from the career of mine until the love story of mine.

for the career...

(plse this literally makes me cry T_T)

so... right now I bring a big trust (suddenly and nothing prepared)

without thinking it first,

I took it bcs i'm afraid that day... 

why me? I always wondering it everyday and every time it always ruining in my head.

why was I too weak to refuse that day?

in the beginning I enjoy it..

but why in the middle it feels so hard and why they are so rude?!

They know nothing what happened before!

i heard that fake people talk about me and everything that I ever did it's wrong!

and ya! Go on guys. Just talk anything what y'all like about me then.

I just let it be, trying to be patient, 

and trying do not to caring what the others thinking and talk about.

i'm type of person who can't telling my story with language, 

I tell it everything by words, so I can more express the feeling.

I just walk on my path and keep sharing the love. :)

so those all are my 2017 stories that i've learned, 

that i'll tell to my future children, 

and keep it until I die

thank you for the experiences 2017, this year will be memorable for my life!:-)

with love,

cece

💝

Hello goodbye :)

hello my monkey!
I think, the times up now.

for me..
you might be had done to trying make a move to me from her,
which is useless.
it's because "very hard to moves to another heart isn't it?"
yeah actually I feelin it too
to you..

Do you know?
I often...
I often overexcited to talk about you to my friends.

but,
you take me for granted don't you?
that's my friends opinion about you whilst I talk about you to them..
"one day you here, one day you there~"
and I didn't notice it until my friends said like that..

And I just wanna say goodbye to you,
Thank you for everything memories those we made,
specially thank you that you had tried it for me.
Now I realize and understand, why you still choose her..

One thing you must know..
from my deeply heart,
I will always love you.
I promise from now,
that I understand it and I'll let you go

please remember,
that I am worth, so I'm going to another pages.
to continue my worthy life and welcoming every new stories to be writen.

it's Ok!
the new story of me just has begun! :)

-cc-
09:36PM

Life in a mask

everybody is fake.
I don't know how to trust them.
they nice to me, but sometime they talk about another person
what they don't like about that person, the weirdness of that person, anything about the badness of that person.
but suddenly in another day!! They hangout together, take a pic, and maybe some video?! what the hell like that?! I don't even fuckin understand with those fuckin all!!
And I wont to trust anyone anymore!

ruining in my head

a bit conversation between the right-side and the left-side whispers


R : "ugh! c'mon! we have to moving"
L : "moving? for what?"
R : "of course for a better our life!"
L : "what a better? i'm better stay right here. its comfortable to be here. i'm glad!"
R : "ooghhh pleaseee! you know he doesn't like youuu!!! why are you do this thing?!"
L : "yeah I know, but I do love him very much!"
R : "you don't!! he just assumes you as a friend, not much and don't you wish anything about him it's just make your time to be waste!"
L : "idc rightsie, until in this time he has all of my heart... and no one can't take it away from him"
R : "whattt?"
L : "i'm gonna be his home." :)





1.42 AM
virtual hug and kisses
-cc-

I am no more.

I don't know whats going on, on me?!
but...
everything which is related with him, it still makes my heart beating
so fast...

the girls know, what is it mean?
and so I am.
why am I being like that?
I don't know...

my feelings are complicated
disappointed, confused, surrendered, and the last worse is scared.
why the last things gonna be worse?
because I am scared, scared of my feeling become wild and lost on him again.

I don't want to be broken at this time
like I said before, I'm not ready yet.
I'm still trying to get up from all of these bullshit

to be honest...
I felt weak every I saw him,
even if I just remembered how he touched me.
who had strong emotional in each other
yeah we were...

maybe everybody can judge me "childish"
but I don't care at all

every single stupid problem has decision.
every single person has the different reason to make the decision.
and right now, I have it done.
done to make the decision.

and I...
will not easily trusting people anymore
especially the boys.




11:53 PM
blurry night, and the big question marks all in my head.
-cc-