I am no more.

I don't know whats going on, on me?!
but...
everything which is related with him, it still makes my heart beating
so fast...

the girls know, what is it mean?
and so I am.
why am I being like that?
I don't know...

my feelings are complicated
disappointed, confused, surrendered, and the last worse is scared.
why the last things gonna be worse?
because I am scared, scared of my feeling become wild and lost on him again.

I don't want to be broken at this time
like I said before, I'm not ready yet.
I'm still trying to get up from all of these bullshit

to be honest...
I felt weak every I saw him,
even if I just remembered how he touched me.
who had strong emotional in each other
yeah we were...

maybe everybody can judge me "childish"
but I don't care at all

every single stupid problem has decision.
every single person has the different reason to make the decision.
and right now, I have it done.
done to make the decision.

and I...
will not easily trusting people anymore
especially the boys.




11:53 PM
blurry night, and the big question marks all in my head.
-cc-

It's Okay

Finally, you got what you want.
I know maybe the time and the space is the best
for a while to heal up the last situation of us.

and yeah it's true
I don't have a control for you to make sure you'll stay with me forever.
but if she the best for you, it's Okay.
I am Happy if you Happy. :)

thanks for everything by the way
you had been coloring my life,
at least I haven't "flat type life" at all
because of you :)

and I hope I'll fall in love again someday
with the right loved one
but not this time
because I not ready yet now

I'm gonna fix myself first
maybe we can meet on the top someday
with the somethings new (like changes to be better person)

bye, this's Cee.
let's we go together with different direction
so...
yap see ya! until we meet again.
God bless you always, amin.




6:47 AM
in the cold haze morning
and the warm blanket covering me.
-cc-