End of the Year

Just keep on the path Celiiii!

Dear 2017,

I don't know what I feel right now, but I'm typing with a lil crying. (lebay) #celilagicheessymelow

first of all I want to say thanks to Allah because of Him, 

I have a chance until right now to live a life.

the second, thank you so muuuch to my family who support me the most.

and the third i wanna say thank you so much also to my best friend and all my friend

who coloring my life in 2017.

If i'm talk about 2017, 

there are so many memories up and down situations that i've learned about.

its very much i wanna tell but it will be a long long long stories..(lebay lagi)

ya..

from the career of mine until the love story of mine.

for the career...

(plse this literally makes me cry T_T)

so... right now I bring a big trust (suddenly and nothing prepared)

without thinking it first,

I took it bcs i'm afraid that day... 

why me? I always wondering it everyday and every time it always ruining in my head.

why was I too weak to refuse that day?

in the beginning I enjoy it..

but why in the middle it feels so hard and why they are so rude?!

They know nothing what happened before!

i heard that fake people talk about me and everything that I ever did it's wrong!

and ya! Go on guys. Just talk anything what y'all like about me then.

I just let it be, trying to be patient, 

and trying do not to caring what the others thinking and talk about.

i'm type of person who can't telling my story with language, 

I tell it everything by words, so I can more express the feeling.

I just walk on my path and keep sharing the love. :)

so those all are my 2017 stories that i've learned, 

that i'll tell to my future children, 

and keep it until I die

thank you for the experiences 2017, this year will be memorable for my life!:-)

with love,

cece

💝

Hello goodbye :)

hello my monkey!
I think, the times up now.

for me..
you might be had done to trying make a move to me from her,
which is useless.
it's because "very hard to moves to another heart isn't it?"
yeah actually I feelin it too
to you..

Do you know?
I often...
I often overexcited to talk about you to my friends.

but,
you take me for granted don't you?
that's my friends opinion about you whilst I talk about you to them..
"one day you here, one day you there~"
and I didn't notice it until my friends said like that..

And I just wanna say goodbye to you,
Thank you for everything memories those we made,
specially thank you that you had tried it for me.
Now I realize and understand, why you still choose her..

One thing you must know..
from my deeply heart,
I will always love you.
I promise from now,
that I understand it and I'll let you go

please remember,
that I am worth, so I'm going to another pages.
to continue my worthy life and welcoming every new stories to be writen.

it's Ok!
the new story of me just has begun! :)

-cc-
09:36PM

Life in a mask

everybody is fake.
I don't know how to trust them.
they nice to me, but sometime they talk about another person
what they don't like about that person, the weirdness of that person, anything about the badness of that person.
but suddenly in another day!! They hangout together, take a pic, and maybe some video?! what the hell like that?! I don't even fuckin understand with those fuckin all!!
And I wont to trust anyone anymore!

ruining in my head

a bit conversation between the right-side and the left-side whispers


R : "ugh! c'mon! we have to moving"
L : "moving? for what?"
R : "of course for a better our life!"
L : "what a better? i'm better stay right here. its comfortable to be here. i'm glad!"
R : "ooghhh pleaseee! you know he doesn't like youuu!!! why are you do this thing?!"
L : "yeah I know, but I do love him very much!"
R : "you don't!! he just assumes you as a friend, not much and don't you wish anything about him it's just make your time to be waste!"
L : "idc rightsie, until in this time he has all of my heart... and no one can't take it away from him"
R : "whattt?"
L : "i'm gonna be his home." :)





1.42 AM
virtual hug and kisses
-cc-

I am no more.

I don't know whats going on, on me?!
but...
everything which is related with him, it still makes my heart beating
so fast...

the girls know, what is it mean?
and so I am.
why am I being like that?
I don't know...

my feelings are complicated
disappointed, confused, surrendered, and the last worse is scared.
why the last things gonna be worse?
because I am scared, scared of my feeling become wild and lost on him again.

I don't want to be broken at this time
like I said before, I'm not ready yet.
I'm still trying to get up from all of these bullshit

to be honest...
I felt weak every I saw him,
even if I just remembered how he touched me.
who had strong emotional in each other
yeah we were...

maybe everybody can judge me "childish"
but I don't care at all

every single stupid problem has decision.
every single person has the different reason to make the decision.
and right now, I have it done.
done to make the decision.

and I...
will not easily trusting people anymore
especially the boys.




11:53 PM
blurry night, and the big question marks all in my head.
-cc-

It's Okay

Finally, you got what you want.
I know maybe the time and the space is the best
for a while to heal up the last situation of us.

and yeah it's true
I don't have a control for you to make sure you'll stay with me forever.
but if she the best for you, it's Okay.
I am Happy if you Happy. :)

thanks for everything by the way
you had been coloring my life,
at least I haven't "flat type life" at all
because of you :)

and I hope I'll fall in love again someday
with the right loved one
but not this time
because I not ready yet now

I'm gonna fix myself first
maybe we can meet on the top someday
with the somethings new (like changes to be better person)

bye, this's Cee.
let's we go together with different direction
so...
yap see ya! until we meet again.
God bless you always, amin.




6:47 AM
in the cold haze morning
and the warm blanket covering me.
-cc-

What is love?

There is always on my mind that fully in my head thinking of Love. And I have a complicated question of love, so what is love? Some people will answers "two people which stay together when they in the up and down situations" but for me, it's... ahh like I said before its very difficult to explain. Its more than staying together in the up and down situations, but it involving the emotions which is sincere to doing anything for the loved one. Both of them will do that for makes the loved one happy with every way that he/she through. The others of my mind is, "love is dumb" because really?! you don't know why you will doing anything you wants for that the loved one. How if the one you loves doesn't love you back?! its sounds like stupidity in yourself.

and the worse news is I do fall in love with someone. Someone who always close with me as a friend, since we were in the senior high school. Which is we had many memories we made. Actually I really tired with all of these stupid weirdo feelings. I wanna let it go but why it always sticky in me?! I wondering to myself, are will the all of these is end?! when???!!! I wanna happy too like you without me! I wanna happy too like before I meet you! why this is so hard? every pieces of time I try to kill my feeling, but I think it useless, its getting stronger and stronger than before i try. I really don't know what to do, i'm tired, very... but the best way is keep off you to meet me up. but you know? until now I do. I do fall in love with you, you know since when? Since I know you at the 10th grade which is I'm not sure with the feeling at the time. :)

you know Bloggie, it always nice to writes all of my entire life with you. although it just for a while.
thanks.

0.55 AM

trying to stand up from the fall

-cc-

Not poem just 3 AM thoughts

Sometimes I feel warm on you

sometimes I feel cold too on you

you know we are just a friend

so I know there's no the end

together makes a joke,

laughing extra loud to make a noise,

then we make the world for our self

being happy and ordinary is our shields

and when it going on by the time

suddenly something wrong happen with me

I'm literally convincing myself for know

that I don't to you 

but I do...

I do expecting to see you around

I do hoping my eyes can stare at

I do always imagine "if I were in your warm-tight hug" and last 

the dangerous thing's I do likes you...

no no no I don't..!

I can't accepting my feeling, 

but this is a naturally thing...

the thing that I don't even know...

I don't want something just like this... :(

there is no help...

and i'm gonna try this feeling's flowing by.

the confusing night, Jakarta.

12.14 AM

-cc-

Masih Ada Kesempatan Menjadi Lebih Baik

Setiap orang memiliki kesempatan,

entah dalam bentuk apa mereka mengambil pilihan,

iya iya atau tidak tidak dalam memutuskan,

namun diantara itu pasti terselip adanya keraguan.

Berfikir berputar-putar,

di ujung sudut ruang sembari bersandar,

sambil jari menari-nari di papan kata,

mencari-cari pilihan kata yang tepat untuk di tata.

Pada intinya jika hanya berfikir itu sama saja,

sama saja membuang waktu tersisa,

lebih baik memantapkan tekad dengan sekuat baja,

agar kesempatan tidak terbuang sia-sia.

Inilah saatnya menjadi yang lebih baik!

Kota penuh perjuangan, Jakarta.
1.36 AM
-cc-

Just let you....

I let you,

to be in my world,

I let you,

also to be in your world.

at the time I remember,

we were loved to singing together,

we were watching movie lil bit longer,

we were cuddling on the sofa like a lover.

we both just let these all like a flows,

happy without the sorrow,

then tomorrow,

my heart stuck by the arrow.

thus, I believe to you,

I really care about you,

but, I don't know whats happen,

and now you've changed

changed, like "we are nothing",

nothing.. nothing happened between us,

you said "we are just a friend right?"

"yea, you're right" I reply to you with the biggest lie

perhaps, it wont makes us feel odd,

so i'm pretend to be okay,

everything we've done just like a passed,

that literally i'm dying inside.

And now I should let you go,

go as far as you can go,

I know this is not the right time,

to have you to be mine.

In the cold, cold night. Jakarta.

1:14 AM

-cc-

Cycle of Relation Poem

At the beginning of time
We were stranger
Just did stared one another
Without talked by manner

At the second of times
We were smiling know each other
Had a dialogue of one another
Got the flow of comfort zone like a river

At the third of times
We were get closer
Had a deep conversation by being a good listener
And just in trap by the feeling too harder

At the last of time
We are lost control at all
Get the matter cycle like a wreaking ball
And going back like the stranger of first this all


In the City of light, Jakarta.
8:18 PM
-cc-

Just a poem

Aku suka malam
Hitam
Gelap
Pekat
Dan karena semua berkorelasi antara satu dengan lainnya

Seperti,
Sepi setia menemani malam ini
Bagai satuan rumput dan jerami
Sesaat setetes air mata pun bergulir,
Dan kemudian menggilir

Dalam lamunan,
Tersentak dalam benak
"Betapa tega dirinya telah pergi beranjak?"
Sekilas ingin melupakan sejenak
Namun kilasan memori di kepala selalu bersanak

Tidak! Aku tidak ingin.
Aku tidak ingin membicarakan semua tentangnya
Bagaimana diriku diperlakukan oleh dirinya
Bagaimana diriku terlalu bodoh mempercayainya

Semua itu telah terjadi
Cepat pula waktu berganti
Dirinya telah pergi
Dan hanya tersisa memori.

Jakarta kota ramai,
20.22 WIB
-cc- 

Random thoughts

Everything in life,
There are many people comes and goes,
There is ups and downs,
There is sweetness and bitterness.
And everyone included me,
I don't knows what will happen next until the day come,
come to them and to me.
I just know everything in life is nothing lasts forever.
It must to face to be realistic.
And the last I wanna try to do my best for all everything,
everything that comes to me,
to be my lesson of life.

-T H E  E N D-

I got a new squad!

Hey Ho! Lemme introduce my new squad in campus!
We all have a good positive vibes, yeaa so one of us is make the name group with "GOOD PEOPLE"

there are 4 persons in here,

sooo let's check it outtt!!!

nah grup ini terdiri dari Semi, Rizky, Celi dan Nico. Kaya yg ada di bawah ini.... nama sama orangnya sesuai sama urutan foto dibawah ini! :D

kita dikelas brg terus, tp ada juga yang gabareng sihh... heheeee.
awal kenalnya kita di matkul SIM waktu semester 3 tahun lalu, yaa si dua lelaki ini ngajak gabung bikin kelompok buat tugas wkwkwk akhirnya yaudah deh gabung. Gw kira mereka senpai ternyataaa ohhh ternyataaa kita seangkatan!!!wkwkwk

karna gw orangnya terlanjur cuek, gw biasa aja.. tp si kiki alias Rizky, ngebet bgt buat nyamain KRS brg mereka, yaa kalo gw sih sabeblaaa asal nyambung aja gt kalo ngomong sm gw dan harus sabar tentunya karna gw suka lola:(

okelah kalo begitu!
yang pertama ada Semi, yaa namanya Ahmad Hasemi Rafsanjani. gw kira tuaan dia, tp ternyata tuaan gw 4 bulan wkwk lanjut, first impression yhaa gw kira doi senior yg baru ambil matkul SIM dulu wkwkwk maap lho😂 Semi orangnya baik, dewasa dan sedikit cuek (a lil bit cool type of guy). walaupun kadang suka ngaret yhaa wkwkwkwwk pis men✌😂 jago bikin puisi!!!👏 sama suka sebats sebelum kelas dan selesai kelas wkwkwk

yg kedua ada Kiki atau Rizky Amalia Febiyani. kenal pas lagi Ordik, first impression gw "ini orang cerewet bgt dah??!!" wkwkwkwk maap ki, dan yaa dia org paling tua tp paling manja sendiri wkwkwk suka ketawa gajelas dan dia mirip bgt sama Niana Guerrero yg jago ngedance itu. btw she is my daily walking diary. ew wkwkkw👅💕

yg terakhir ada Coconut!! alias M Nico Wibowo. Dia dedeq gw karna nama blkgnya samaa!! wkwkw:( first impression "ini org rada gajelas dah yhaa?!😓" wkwkwkwk maap coconut:( tp emang awalnya gw pikir dari pas blm kenal lo, lo gajelas Co:( dan ternyata pas udah kenal lo teteeeep gajelaaas!!:(:( tp gapapa deng seengganya lo murah senyum yaa wkwkwkwk nico orangnya legowo pisan, apalagi pas dimarahin dosen lewat chat wkwkwkwk😂😂 ohiya kosan nico telah ditetapkan sebagai basecamp kalo gw sm kiki gabut wkwkwk atongga buat nitip barang bawaan yg berat kalo emg gw lg mau lama2 dikampus wkwk.😜

ini dia yg foto lainnyaaaaa

dan itulah sedikit cerita dr gw malam ini. semoga tetep bisa keeping up yaa genk.

byebye cya next time!<3

HELLO 2017 !!!

hello!!!! come back with me Celia!!! how are you my bloggg??? its so long time not to open this, lucky me isn't any dusts in here huehehe. I miss you blog:''' sorry that I hadn't been writing on blog lately, and now i'm back yuhuuu~

I just wanna say happy new year 2017 for us! wohoo! new year and new me. I hope it will be better than yesterday...

and yesterday around a week ago i had been completing the one of my works on wattpad. It's just like  short story that i made. It's about friendship, soooooo let's check it outtt!!!

If You Are Not the One #wattpad http://my.w.tt/UiNb/J8fsQ7z0sA